Cypher is no field medic, but he knows what to do. The question is, does Phoenix?
~400 words. Cauterization, injuring, descriptions of injury, blood.
See, now, if Phoenix wanted to go into medicine, he would’ve
as a kid. Alas, he was always squeamish around blood and open wounds. He kept
his distance from first aid stations, and when it was him with the wound, he
would just start his own healing process and close his eyes.
Restaurants and bars really love to test your sobriety by making the route to their bathrooms as labyrinthine as possible
Me: I’m not that drunk
Me trying to figure out where the Fuck they’ve hidden the restrooms in this bar: So this is how Odysseus felt huh
Everyone tagging this post with their local bars/restaurants that have ridiculous bathroom layouts…..I see u. I am u. We are all Odysseus, and our Ithaca is a toilet covered in stickers.
ok I just HAVE to include this picture from inside the bathroom door of this one bar I went to
only one of these knobs work and it’s not the one that’s a different color from the rest
There’s a tourist trap in NYC called the Jekyll and Hyde Club. It’s kitsch, overpriced, and kinda fun. The elevator is wonky on purpose, there’s animatronic talking heads on the walls, the paintings talk, the waiters are dressed up, and it’s all interactive. I’ve been there a few times.
But the bathroom?
This is the hallway to the bathroom. You have to read the titles of the books to figure it out. And they don’t tell you how to get in.
Riddle me piss!
Okay riddle me piss caught me off guard and now instead of being angry that these bathrooms exist I’m trying not to laugh and wake everyone up
“Oh trust me, I’d be far prettier standing over your broken corpse.”
Life was hard for this halfling, surrounded by peace loving, house-keeping families asking when she’ll settle down and have children just like her brothers and sisters. Always the butt of the joke, the wild card hell bent on ruining the calm of the valley.
So when the chance arose she brought her hammer down on the skull of her first monster and boy did it feel good. Instead of being bound to whatever lump was interesting enough to tolerate for the rest of her life she could be free shattering bones and feeling complete.
Of course you have to do it with style, why would you disrespect yourself and your foe by looking shabby? This halfling works hard on her appearance, the gods’ gift to the world.
Poll: if your mom remarries when you’re 26 years old is that guy still your stepdad or is he just your mom’s husband.
The poll winner seems to be “depends on whether you like him” which is super valid.
Mine watches fox news so “mom’s husband” it is!
My family has a great way of distinguishing between a new spouse you like and new spouse you disdain!
Your mom/aunt/grandma/etc remarries and they are actually a cool person, you use their first name. So if you were to introduce them they would be: Aunt Jane and Bob.
If your mom/aunt/grandma/etc remarries and they are a fuckwad you introduce them as: this is Aunt Jane and her second husband. The implication being that they are very replaceable and that we’re all just waiting for her to wise up to the situation and serve you divorce papers, she did it once, she can do it again.
MAGNIFICENT
Alright, but what if my mom on her third marriage found a decent man, but my mother herself is shitty
